on washing machines and death
Blue zones, Anthony Bourdain’s Kitchen Confidential, lentils and other philosophers
4 March 23 | Vol 2 Issue 7
This newsletter's opening quote Tell me what you purchased and I will tell you what you are is rather crudely paraphrased from Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin's Physiologie du Gout, ou Medetations de Gastronomie Transcendante — in English Physiology of taste, or Meditations of transcendental gastronomy: theoretical, historical and current in case you thought it was a self-help book on gout — is credited as being the origin of the phrase you are what you eat, or as he said Dis-moi ce que tu manges, je te dirai ce que tu es, Tell me what you eat and I will tell you what you are. [1 ]
I've spent recent columns ruminating on magic, or Leonard Cohen, and not delivering Consume and Enjoy's mission statement of consumerist philosophy, or philosophical consumerism, a meditation on something I’ve purchased, and liked, and what it says about us. Time to rectify that.
I bought a washing machine. And took two years off my life.
You can't say that, said my friend Isabella. But I can. You have to give facts on how to live better, she said. I don't, I said, I'm making a point. For things go in cycles. Particularly washing machines.
After Anne's adventure with tubes, her medical notes said she’s diabetic. She isn't, but is susceptible to high blood sugar and high blood pressure. Both are controllable by diet. A favourite topic of said friend Isabella, who regularly wheels out The Blue Zones as proof of my terrible, sinful oil-drenched eating habits. She puts a lot of spin on wholefood. No more puns.
The old washing machine broke. It was in a rather spectacular fashion, with the seal around the drum disintegrating jettisoning the entire water load across the floor. Non-repairable. So I trundled off to buy a new one. At breakfast, while waiting for it to be delivered I brought up the topic of blue zones and their ability to combat diabetes through diet.
First the bad news, these aren't regions of adult oriented entertainment. They are five localities identified by Gianni Pes, Michel Poulain and Dan Buettner. Okinawa in Japan, Sardinia in Italy; Nicoya in Costa Rica, Icaria in Greece, and Loma Linda in California. What unites them is the population in these areas live longer than average, and in far better health.
There's more bad news, you can't just move there and be granted immortality. You have to have lived there all your life. You probably wouldn't want to though, until you're old, because there's fuck all to do.
Two thousand years ago Epicurus sorted it all out. I haven't mentioned him for a while. This week is about back to basics. So in he comes. You can't get more basic than the lentil. Epicurus loved a lentil.
You know who else loved a lentil? Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin. Consume and Enjoy was partly inspired by Epicurus, and when I chose the Brillat-Savarin quote as the stand first, it was only in the spirit of making a you are what you buy pun. I had no idea Brillat-Savarin and Epicurus were linked. For things go in cycles.
Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin is often cited as the father of the low-carbohydrate diet. He believed sugar and white flour to be the devil causing obesity. The web site Epicurious is named after him, he is nowadays falsely equated with fine dining. But he wasn't in his own time, Plutarch (yeah, who remembers you now Plutarch?) dissed our man with That Epicurus actually makes a pleasant life impossible. Now the point that even for the pleasures of the body our nature requires costly provision, and that the most pleasant enjoyment is not to be found in barley-cake and lentil soup, but that the appetite of the sensualist demands succulent viands and Thasian wine and perfumes ... and not only this, but young and attractive women.
I'm going to admit I'm with Plutarch on some of this, both Epicurus and Brillat-Savarin were bachelors, although being French Brillat-Savarin kept a foot in both camps, dedicating Physiologie to his niece with the words a tribute of a friendship which dates from your childhood, and, perhaps, the homage of a more tender feeling…
Both were advocates of less is more, Those persons who suffer from indigestion, or who become drunk, are utterly ignorant of the true principles of eating and drinking and The pleasant life is produced not by a string of drinking bouts and revelries, nor by fish and the other items on an expensive menu, but by sober reasoning, Brillat-Savarin and Epicurus respectively. OK, I snipped the enjoyment of boys and women from old Epi's tagline as I reckon there's heaps of enjoyment to be had from... constant moderate physical exercise. Epicurus also wrote that a single good piece of cheese could be equally pleasing as an entire feast. [2 ]
The glycemic index diet — able to combat diabetes using diet not drugs — is not strictly low carb, but shares enough commonality that Brillat-Savarin and Epicurus would approve of it.
For things go in cycles. Guess who else is down with all the elements in glycemic / low carb / wholemeal diets? All those folks in the blue zones.
A shout-out while we’re here to David J. Jenkins, the unassuming scientist who in 1981 published with his colleagues a meticulous list ranking foods by their effect on blood sugar. If I remember correctly by eating each food type and then waiting two hours to measure his blood sugar. The Atkins, GI, South Beach, and Zone diets are all based on his work.
Unlike Blue Zones REGISTERED TRADE MARK he didn't turn it into a brand either. All hail Dr David J. Jenkins, a true comrade to Brillat-Savarin and Epicurus.
Long life in the blue zones rests on The Power 9 REGISTERED TRADE MARK according to Blue Zones REGISTERED TRADE MARK.
What the five blue zones have in common, aside from not smoking — which is a given really — are: a plant heavy diet, constant moderate physical exercise, and social engagement. [3 ]
Remember that washing machine? What these people don't have is a washing machine. They don't go to the gym. What they have by demands of their lifestyle is constant moderate physical exercise, which involves washing clothes by hand. It involves doing almost everything by hand.
The other thing the residents have is plenty of time. To absolutely over simplify things, we in our modern lives buy a washing to make time so we can get to the gym.
That all the ambition and desire to do more faster is probably taking years off our lives. We think of life being about career, money, and progress. Assuming you live to ninety you'll spend twenty five years not working. I could try and clumsily draw conclusions about pace of life, lifespan, quality of life, being able to enjoy what we have. Or we could watch Bladerunner.
The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long - and you have burned so very, very brightly, Roy. Look at you: you're the Prodigal Son; you're quite a prize!
Also extraordinary things; revel in your time.
Tyrell
I want more life, fucker
Batty
I don't know why he saved my life. Maybe in those last moments he loved life more than he ever had before. Not just his life - anybody's life; my life. All he'd wanted were the same answers the rest of us want. Where did I come from? Where am I going? How long have I got? All I could do was sit there and watch him die.
Deckard
In our rush to live life more, are we in fact shortening the amount of life we have? We think of life as achievement, viewing the elderly as redundant, living uninteresting lives. We've had Epicurus, I can't crowbar Wittgenstein in here, but I do think I can get away with slinging some Kierkegaard
Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
Soren Kierkegaard
If you were offered a choice like Roy Batty of a short life full of success and affluence, or a long life of nothing much, which would you choose? The quandary I think is trickier to answer the more time you have. Particularly as capitalisation defines success with speed, lengthy processes as falling behind. I quote Kierkegaard as in this context his words act as ironic punctuation to that question. Reaching the end to discover if we had known how pleasurable doing nothing can be, we would have invested more time in achieving less. Saving time is shortening time. We could do with thinking about investing in time.
Assuming of course we have the company of hot boys and women, lentils. And cheese.
This week’s heroes are Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin and Anthony Bourdain. But you haven’t mentioned him, you exclaim! No. True. But Kitchen Confidential is the only chef book I’ve read. I think I can say that its influence, sharing a copy with my daughter twenty years ago, helped lead her to switch vocations and decide this month to become a chef. The fifth Ramone we referred to him as. Both rendered with panache by our artist in residence, the amazing Fatima Fletcher has already conjured them up, they stay.
Please show Fatima your love under will by following www.instagram.com/fatima.fletcher, her work is for sale at fatimafletcher.com, and she’s available for commissions. Her wonderful Ruff Ruff coasters are for sale at fatima-fletcher.square.site/s/shop.
Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain | Buy here
Actually I’m going off piste a little here and although I just linked the book it’s not my recommendation. Epicurious has a recipe for lentil shop, but in honour of Epicurus and his cheese feast, and first tasting this divine combination at Fergus Henderson’s St John in Smithfield, here’s my recipe for lentil and grilled goats cheese.
Extra–virgin olive oil
1 onion
2 or 3 celery stalks
2 carrots
2 garlic cloves
1 cup lentils (puy or black preferably, green is ok, never red)
Balsamic vinegar
1 or 2 bay leaves
A jug of Massel chicken stock
A good teaspoon of paprika
Salt and pepper
A really good playlist
A slice of goats cheese per hot boy or girl
Serves 4 ish
First the goats cheese, optional if you're vegan naturally, it's the soft sort that looks like a big white log. This is important. Not any old goats cheese. Old goat cheese can be pretty vile actually. The log of cheese is usually the same diameter ass a mug. The mini logs you get in packets can be used in a pinch, just cut 3 to 4 slices each instead.
Time to cook. This is about taking your time, so our first step is putting on our apron a la Bourdain and the playlist, here's one compiled from dancing behind a Carnival float last night.
Chop the onion, garlic, carrot and celery as finely as you can. No rush. Ideally we're after brunoise. This is what chefs call really fucking finely diced. Each piece should be lentil sized as near as possible. [4 ]
Prepare your stock. Julian, you said Massel's chicken stock but this is meant to be vegetarian. Massel is vegan, biatches. It's also life changing. Seek it out. Obviously you could use Knorr, or Oxo, but Massel chicken (and beef) VEGAN stock is simply the best going.
Use a heavy bottomed pan, pour in some olive oil, and sautée the vegetables, until they smell nice. Avoid letting them brown more than a smidgen by dance stirring.
Add the stock, bay leaves, paprika and lentils. Salt and pepper. Simmer until the lentils are cooked but still with bite. No mushy shit please. About twenty minutes. Meanwhile you've heated your grill, so as the lentils reach perfection, you can whack a half inch slice thick of goat's cheese per hot boy or girl under it.
Lentils in a bowl, a considered dash of balsamic vinegar, and the cheese on top.
This week featured
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean_Anthelme_Brillat-Savarin
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epicurus
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_J._Jenkins
Buy me a coffee at www.buymeacoffee.com/vfnIE9P0Ta
References
https://crushmag-online.com/mise-en-place-essential-guide-classic-vegetable-cuts/
Legally I have to tell you I might get five pence or something from Bookshop dot org should you purchase something, but really I just want to stick it to Amazon and keep independent bookshops alive. Yeah, rebel me, bringing the man down from the inside etc etc.
Oh and for another good food book maybe try The Man Who Ate Everything by Jeffery Steingarten.
Very good, as usual! We are Massel users too ... and the can says "Chicken style" stock ... having no connections to the barnyard at all. However I have to say you can overdo the lentil. Made a particularly tasty lentil dal a few weeks ago. Been in the fridge for a while so I finished it off with a big bowl for lunch. My subsequent gas production could have powered a small village. Happy washing and best to FF.